Weakness is a Tyme story by Terri Pray.
Artwork by Samuel Pray, created using Daz 3D, Photoshop and Filter Forge.
It was out there, she could feel it, feel the tug that worked
its way into her chest and wrapped around her heart. Jada pressed one hand over
her heart and closed her eyes for a moment. All she had to do was take a step
and she’d
feel the pull that told her which direction she would have to move, where her
feet would need to place themselves in order to begin her journey.
Then stay, don’t go, don’t leave. They need me.
They would always
need her but she was doing this for them, for all of them. Not just her own
family but everyone else. Yet she had been the one it had reached out to. Her.
A no one. Not even a warrior. Useless according to those sworn to the way of
the warrior.
Weak.
Yes, she’d
been called that more times than she wanted to think about. Weak and helpless,
yet she was alive, she had children and she’d survived the invasion, even if
she had done so without her mate standing by her side.
She swallowed and tried
to clear the lump from her throat. The pressure, the summons remained,
something she couldn’t and wouldn’t ignore. It called to her
and she had to answer, to see what was on the other end of that call before it
was too late. She wiped her hands down against her leggings before she turned
to look at the door. No, it wasn’t time yet. She could still enjoy the company
of her sleeping children.
The thought drew
her attention and she looked down at the two cradles but kept her distance from
both, at least for now. By the gods, she wanted to touch and hold her children.
They were hers, her lifeline in this place, on this world. The proof of her
right to exist even if she would never be accepted by the majority of her
people.
The damned man hadn’t
even had the guts to speak to her before he’d vanished into the night,
something she would never have thought him capable of doing until the morning
she’d woken to find herself alone in their shared bed.
Odd.
What had changed
between them that he had found it so needful to leave or had something else
happened? If so, who held the answers?
My sister?
She shuddered at
the thought and closed her eyes. Could it be that her sister was behind the
loss of Jada’s mate? That her jealousy or her lack of understanding as to
why a warrior male would choose her, had led to her mate’s disappearance? If
that were the case then she would never know the truth, unless her mate was
alive and returned to her.
Dead, he must be dead. That would be the
only reason he would not return to see the birth of his children. Our children.
He’d
vanished when she’d discovered she was pregnant and the loss of his presence in
her life had been… painful. It would always hurt, she was woman enough to admit
that. Yet it didn’t change the pain when she looked at her children and
understood they would never know their father. Now she would leave them to
follow a dream, an idea and what would that do to her babies?
Was this a foolish
idea? Was she doing the right thing in leaving her children tonight in search
of — of what? A dream? A legend? Something that might not even exist? What if
she never returned?
She took a step
toward the first cradle and leaned in. It didn’t matter if she failed
to return, she had to try. Even if she failed, she would have at least proved
that she wasn’t a coward, that she would never step down when she was called,
when she was needed. Her children would be safe, she had the paperwork in place
that would prevent her sister from claiming them and they would have the right
to choose her own path, even leave Mars if they so wished, without interference
from family members.
They would be free.
“Sleep little one. Sleep and know that I love you.” Jada
smoothed a soft black curl back from the sleeping child’s eyes and let her
fingers play over the lock for a moment before she tucked the quilt back in
under his chin. She turned to the second bed in the room, her steps silent as
she moved to the side and tucked her daughter in with the same care she had
taken with her son. Neither child made a sound as she moved through the room
instead their sleep remained undisturbed.
What was it like to
sleep in such peace? To know, without doubt, that you were safe?
Had she ever
enjoyed such rest when she had been a child? Had there been someone who had
stood watch over her?
If there had, she
had never been told of such things, nor was there one she could reach out to
now in order to find out. The only one with any answer would be her sister and
that was a woman who would never provide the information. Not unless it was
something that would benefit the older woman. That was the nature of their
relationship and had been for as long as Jada could remember.
She shook off the
thought and slipped out of the room and pulled the door closed behind her in
silence. She paused to listen, making sure that neither child had awoken with
her exit and only then did she step away. They would sleep through the night,
if the gods were kind, and they had done so for several months now.
A soft noise in the
main room drew her attention and she forced a smile into place before turning
to see the source. Tall, broad shouldered, with a slight scar on her left
cheek, the woman stood there, leaning against the door frame. “They’re
going to be soft, if you keep treating them like that. It’s not good for them,
for any children to be raised like that. Too much love will weaken them. You
know it’s not our way. Not the way of a warrior people. How can they be active
members of the community if you continue to coddle them? No, you’re raising
them to be nothing more than breeders, just like their mother.”
Jada folded her
hands in front of her, refusing to let the tension she felt show in her stance.
Love, a weakness? It wasn’t something she agreed with but the other
woman was set in her ways. It wasn’t worth the fight. Jada took a deep breath and
met the woman’s gaze, her voice calm but gentle and submissive. Anything else
would start a fight, something she had no interest in, especially tonight. “So
you’ve said, sister.”
The older woman
snorted, nostrils flaring in disgust. “No fight in you, just
like our mother. How you ever persuaded that man of yours to breed with you, is
beyond me. Good warrior like that needed a stronger bed mate, one able to
provide him with children to train in the arts. No, he picked you. Nothing more
than a weakling, worthless to the rest of us.”
Jada kept silent.
“Not even the spirit to fight with words.” Megan spat and shook
her head. “I’m ashamed to call you sister.”
“Would there be a point to it, Megan? Arguments would change
nothing between us and I don’t recall the last time you named me as your sister
to someone outside of this house.” Jada cursed herself for speaking but it was
too late, once spoken the words could not be taken back. She clasped her hands
before her and half bowed her head. Submissive, meek, those were the things she
had to remember around her sister, at least if she wanted to leave and follow
the signal that even now tugged on her heart and pulled her toward the
mountains. “Forgive me, but I am needed at the temple tonight. I have given my
word and I would not wish to let anyone down.”
“And you expect me to listen out for your brats, is that it?”
Megan took a step toward her, one hand resting on her weapons belt, a breath
away from the butt of her blaster.
“No, of course not. I would not ask you to lower yourself to the
duties of child care.” Jada dropped her gaze once more. The very idea of
letting Megan watch the children sickened her. Who knows what her sister would
do to them in the name of toughing them up? “Lynda is here.” At least she had
been only a few moments ago. Had the girl left when Megan had arrived?
“Watching brats is all that blasted girl is good for. I don’t
know why we ever abandoned the old traditions. That one should have been left
out on the slopes instead being allowed to live and weaken the bloodlines even
further.” Megan turned, stalking her way through the house toward the kitchen.
Her voice carried back, snatches of sentences, but it was plain that she didn’t
expect a reply. “We lost much when we turned our back on the old ways.”
Jada sighed,
peering after her sister. Only when she was certain that the older woman
planned on grabbing a bite to eat, no doubt from the food Jada had prepared
earlier in the day, and then vanishing for the night, did Jada then slip back
into her own bedroom. There, perched on the narrow bed, a blond haired teenager
waited, eyes wide as she looked from Jada to the door and back again.
“She won’t come in here and once she’s eaten, she’ll be gone for
the night.” Jada explained, her voice pitched low. “She doesn’t want to be
here, not relegated to the task of childcare.” Jada softened her words with a
warm smile.
Lynda nodded, but
said nothing, tears shining within her pale blue eyes. Her fingers tangled on
her lap and she lowered her head as a soft tremble rn through her body. Every
inch of Jada cried out with the need to hold Lynda and tell her she would be
safe.
“You’ll be safe. Her words… they’re just that, words. She won’t
strike you, not in my house.” Words. They were still a weapon, but one that
Megan used with brute force rather than a delicate touch. Everything about
Megan was like that. She stalked, stomped, lashed out, snapped, never stopping
to apologize. At least, not to anyone of lower rank and as far as her sister
was concerned, anyone unfit to be a warrior would always be of a lower rank. “Stay
here, if you want. She never comes into my room. There’s nothing here that
interests her and you will be able to access the children’s room from here.”
Megan wouldn’t remain that long, no it wasn’t in her nature, yet Jada could
understand Lynda’s concerns.
The teen offered a
thin smile but nodded, lifting her right hand to scuff away a stray tear, the
left arm, which ended just above the elbow, remained pressed against her side. “I
know, I know you would never leave me where she could hurt me but…” she lifted
the damaged arm, “she thinks I’m a waste of resources. She goes out of her way
to say so about me or any others like me. We’re weak, worthless, a drain on the
people and planet.”
“By the gods, you’re not any of those things.” Yet she’d heard
the words herself. “She doesn’t see the beauty you create or the way children
listen to you.”
“No, she sees this and believes that I will help raise children
who will accept deformities without question.”
“And is that a bad thing?” Jada arched an eyebrow.
“Not to me, but those like Megan, they disagree.” Lynda lowered
her gaze once more.
Gods alone knew she
wanted to stay and reassure Lynda but the tug grew with each passing moment.
She glanced at the door and then back at Lynda. Jada squeezed her shoulder. “If
I could stay, I would but…”
“I know, I’ll be fine, really I will. You’re right, she won’t
come in here and she’ll leave soon enough. She always has before.”
Courage, one of the
things the warriors prized yet how many of them had looked at Lynda and
dismissed her? Jada closed her eyes for a moment and settled her thoughts. If
she returned then perhaps things would change? Perhaps there would be a better
life for those like herself and Lynda? There was only one way to find out and
in doing so she would prove to herself, if no one else, that she was far from
weak. “I’ll
be back as quick as I can. There’s food in the kitchen, three days of meals
just in case, but I should be back before dawn.” At least, that was the plan,
how well it would all work out was another matter entirely…
To Be continued next week.